Grab Your Spot In the Winter Incubator  – Enrollment ends in:

Luminary Brain Trust Updates

January 6, 2023

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Pick Your

This Week's Call To Connect

Join this month’s discussion on Dismantling Supremacy.


Weekly Check-Ins

Hi Friends!

Right around January 15, and lasting through til March, my brain freezes up like a popsicle and I’m basically a meat paperweight.

I can’t think. I can’t write. I can’t create. Because I have the memory of a bumblebee, I used to freak out every winter, right on January 15th. Thinking this was something new and scary!




Every winter, I’d have a series of inert, implosive meltdowns.

I’d sit down to work and turn into a lump of blankets and cats, staring off into space while quietly losing all of my shit.

It wasn’t until I started tracking these dips and bursts of energy and creativity that I realized this happens every winter at exactly the same time, in exactly the same way.

I did this for years until I discovered the importance of a good deep mental composting. I learned to embrace it and come out the other end a finely-tuned kyriarchy-smashing fireball of creative energy.

So last year, I experimented with intentionally retreating, recentering, and getting my shit together. Accepting this frozen time to prepare for the year to come.

I even turned it into a seasonal collective where we could do this together – the Parent Activist Winter Incubator. I hope you’ll join me for it next January!

This Winter, we're picking our battles.

(But not too many battles! Don’t be so greedy!)

Every month in the LBT, we take a beat to examine supremacy culture, and our responsibility to unpack it within ourselves and our communities.

As we wind down our Collaboration Laboratory discussion on releasing draining friendships, we’re going to explore how to accept and embrace the uncomfortable un-productivity of retreating and composting for a creative spring and an action-packed summer.

To join me in this exploration, you can:

  • Review our discussion prompt on picking your battles – and leave a comment with your thoughts.
  • Maybe take a 2 minutes to go outside, touch grass (or snow), and consider – who has a right to set boundaries in a supremacist society? Let us know your reflections in the comments.

Jump into our asynchronous weekly chat to follow along as I set January & February aside to pause, recover from gender-affirming surgery, and wrestle with the discomfort of not producing anything.


You’re not obligated to join us in these discussions – but I’d really love to have some friends along as I figure this out.

Knowing there are other parents out there who are facing the same compulsion to…GO, DO, CREATE, GIVE UNTIL YOU HAVE NOTHING LEFT (!!) helps us recognize the systemic issues influencing our arrogance and toxic behavior.

Hanging with folks who also recognize the toxic hustle of capitalism and supremacy culture – who appreciate the stories we have to share – helps us all move forward together.

Coming up next

Next week, I’ll be back with some rants about kids’ movies and how we can laugh at trash while revealing problematic messages in pop culture with our kids.

With you,

– Ashia

PS: This is your friendly holiday reminder that we need sharp haircuts & new threads for the Lunar New Year! Grab a our limited-edition Year of the Rabbit hoodie for your favorite people!

PPS: According to my analytics-sleuthing on which links get clicked, nobody has found our weekly goofy dose-of-cheer easter eggs. Keep searching!


Pick Your Battles (But Not SO Many Battles)

Examining our everyday challenges empowers us to reveal systemic inequality together.

Weekly Check-Ins

Group Discussion

New polls & prompts Tuesdays.
Chime in whenever.

Little Wins

What small (or big?) thing have you managed to work through this month?

Collaboration Laboratory

Vote on topics &
share your advice

Friday Failure Party

What did you mess up this week?
Let's talk about what we learned!

Self-Care Challenge

Cheer each other on & become a lean, mean, kyriarchy-smashing machine.


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©2023 Ashia Ray of Raising Luminaries™. All rights reserved.

Raising Luminaries is anchored in the land of the Wampanoag & Massachusett People.
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Photographs via Unsplash & Illustrations via Storyset, used with permission.

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