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Your Spring Horoscope
Here's what each Chinese Zodiac sign can expect this spring in terms of their parenting, activism, and community relationships and initiatives:
100% bullshit semi-randomly generated by ChatGPT.
(And spiced up a little by Ashia.)
How could you make an impact this year?
Determine where to focus your energy based on your Chinese zodiac sign (or whichever seems most fun.)
Don't take it too seriously, this is all entirely made-up.
(born in 2023, 2011, 1999, 1987, 1975, 1963)
Ignite Tree Hugging Leaders:
This spring, Rabbits should focus on creating a peaceful and harmonious home environment. Spend time outdoors with your kids and encourage them to appreciate nature.
(Helpful: Kids Stories Connecting Us Back To Nature)
Your skills: Soothing & Co-Regulation
Rabbits can make a major impact by focusing on initiatives that help activists self-regulate and prevent burnout. Model self-regulation in conflict and divisive spaces.
While it can be fun to hold onto imaginary one-sided grudges and endless late-night fantasy arguments with a famous celebrity, it’s time to forgive Michelle Obama for never responding to your 24th birthday invite. She genuinely wanted to come, but her dog ate the invitation with your contact info on it. Also she was shopping for the perfect sweater/skirt suit to meet Nelson Mandela in so…
Your focus: Environment & Climate Justice
Rabbits may find success by getting involved in initiatives that promote environmental sustainability and conservation. Organize community clean-up events and encourage your children to become eco-conscious.
(born in 2024, 2012, 2000, 1988, 1976, 1964)
Ignite Charismatic Leaders
This spring, Dragons should focus on encouraging their children to be leaders and take initiative. Provide opportunities for your kids to take on responsibility and develop their leadership skills.
(Helpful: What type of leader is your kiddo?)
Your skills: Enthusiasm & Charm
Dragons can make a big impact by using their charisma and energy to inspire others. Get involved in public speaking and media interviews to spread your message.
That yoga mat you bought is still gathering dust in the corner. Either schedule a virtual date to do sun salutations together with a friend or donate it already. Geez.
Your focus: Innovate for Good
Dragons may find success by focusing on initiatives that promote innovation and technology. Organize hackathons and encourage your children to develop their own technology projects.
(born in 2025, 2013, 2001, 1989, 1977, 1965)
Ignite Creative Leaders
This spring, Snakes should focus on encouraging creativity and problem-solving skills in their children. Provide opportunities for your kids to think outside the box and come up with unique solutions.
(Helpful: Changemaking Through Art)
Your skills: Radical Transformation
Activism: Snakes can make a big impact by focusing on initiatives that promote healing and transformation. Work to address the root causes of societal problems and promote holistic solutions.
When you gave unsolicited ‘helpful‘ feedback on Laura’s post, it was was actually giving nitpicking criticism, and nobody reads her blog anyway. Apologize if you swerved out of your lane, and offer to help her choose a good color palette for her next IG post – IF she wants your help.
Your Focus: Education & Mentorship
Snakes may find success by getting involved in initiatives that promote personal growth and development. Organize workshops and events that help people tap into their inner potential.
(born in 2026, 2014, 2002, 1990, 1978, 1966)
Ignite Active Leaders:
This spring, Horses should focus on encouraging physical activity and healthy competition in their children. Encourage your kids to participate in sports and outdoor activities.
(Helpful: Changemaking Through Sports)
Your skills: Disrupting Injustice
Horses can make a big impact by focusing on initiatives that promote freedom and justice. Use your energy and enthusiasm to fight for what is right and work to dismantle systems of oppression.
Beware of folks named Dave. Sure, they can be fun to have around in the moment, but they leave you with a need to vent to a friend, and frankly – with your busy schedules and the rare moments you get together – you have way more important things to talk about than Dave.
Your Focus: Accessible Outdoor Spaces
Horses may find success by getting involved in initiatives that promote physical fitness and health. Organize community runs and fitness challenges, or get involved with local sports teams.
GOAT / SHEEP
(born in 2027, 2015, 2003, 1991, 1979, 1967)
Ignite Compassionate Leaders
This spring, Goats should focus on cultivating empathy and emotional intelligence in their children. Encourage your kids to develop their emotional awareness and to be compassionate towards others.
(Helpful: Kids Stories on Dealing With Jerks)
Your Skills: Cooperation & Facilitation
Goats can make a big impact by focusing on initiatives that promote peace and harmony. Work to build bridges between different groups and promote understanding.
Aunt Sheila was a great aunt when you were 11, but now that she’s fallen down the Q-anon hole, there’s just no getting her out. You really have no control over her – and doom-scrolling her Facebook feed isn’t helping anyone, it’s just draining your energy. Write a letter of appreciation for the woman she used to be, block her and move on.
Your Focus: Accessible Mental Health
Goats may find success by getting involved in initiatives that promote mental health and emotional well-being. Organize workshops and support groups, or get involved with local mental health organizations.
(born in 2028, 2016, 2004, 1992, 1980, 1968)
Ignite Curious Leaders:
This spring, Monkeys should focus on encouraging curiosity and exploration in their children. Allow your kids to try new things and take risks.
Your Skills: Activism: Monkeys can make a big impact by focusing on initiatives that promote innovation and creativity. Use your intelligence and resourcefulness to find new solutions to old problems.
The new friend you’re about to meet at the community picnic is much smarter than they seem at first. Avoid boasting about yourself and spend some time asking what they’re up to. You might discover a new friend-crush, even if the limerence is short-lived.
Your Focus: Cooperative Economics
Monkeys may find success by getting involved in initiatives that promote entrepreneurship and business development. Connect grassroots organizations to create sustainable resource networks, support your local mutual aid and buy-nothing groups.
ROOSTER / HEN
(born in 2029, 2017, 2005, 1993, 1981, 1969)
Ignite Tenacious Leaders
This spring, Roosters should focus on teaching responsibility and discipline to their children. Encourage your kids to take ownership of their actions and to follow through on their commitments.
(Helpful: Daring Greatly & Failing Spectacularly, a family action toolkit for tenacious kids)
Your Skills: Accountability & Transparency
Roosters can make a big impact by focusing on initiatives that promote accountability and transparency. Work to hold people and institutions responsible for their actions.
You’ve got a problem with mirrors this spring – YOU look fantastic, but your mirrors are literally broken – it’s possible, look it up! Hide them in a closet until summer, check your carbon monoxide detectors, and invest in a jaunty hat that makes you feel cool.
Your Focus: Legislative Advocacy
Roosters may find success by getting involved in initiatives that promote civic engagement and political reform. Organize voter registration drives and advocacy campaigns, or get involved with local political groups.
(born in 2030, 2018, 2006, 1994, 1982, 1970)
Ignite Reliable Leaders
This spring, Dogs should focus on providing stability and security for their children. Create a consistent routine and set clear boundaries to help your kids feel safe and secure.
Your Skills: Loyalty & Dedication
Dogs can make a big impact by focusing on initiatives that promote sustainability and long-term mutual-aid. Use your loyalty and dedication to fight for the underdogs and those who are marginalized.
Do NOT go outside between the hours of 10:30pm to 2am on Tuesday the 23rd until the following Wednesday morning in May. I’m not saying yetis exist, but I am saying that if they DO – they will be in your backyard looking for a snack. Don’t be that kind of snack.
Your Focus: Anti-Speciesism & Animal Rights
Dogs may find success by getting involved in initiatives that promote animal welfare and protection. Organize habitat protection initiatives and fundraise for local animal shelters.
(born in 2019, 2007, 1995, 1983, 1971)
Ignite Generous Leaders
This spring, Pigs should focus on teaching generosity and kindness to their children. Encourage your kids to be giving and compassionate towards others.
(Helpful: Kids Stories on Radical Interdependence)
Your Skills: Listening & Motivating
Pigs can make a big impact by focusing on initiatives that boost the voices of those most often silenced Use your kindness and gentle nature to empower self-advocates fighting for justice and protection.
I know you need to submit the thing. YOU know you need to submit the thing. I know the late fee feels worth it at this point to just pretend it doesn’t exist – but seriously, SUBMIT THE THING. Do it this Thursday, it’s worth cancelling your dentist appointment for.
Your Focus: Equity & Amplification
Pigs may find success by getting involved in initiatives that promote equity and community listening. Organize community events and rallies, or get involved with local self-advocacy organizations.
(born in 2020. 2008, 1996, 1984, 1972, 1960)
Ignite Rebellious Leaders
This spring, Rats should focus on fostering a rebellious streak in their children while still teaching them how be considerate of others and respect boundaries. Encourage your kids to take on new challenges and explore their interests.
Your Skills: Collaborative Leadership
Activism: Rats can make a big impact by taking on a leadership role in their activist groups. Speak up and share your ideas, but also be open to collaboration and compromise.
Spring is a time for renewal and growth, but when your old friend from middle school contacts you over messenger to ask if you want to invest in her new hairgrowth treatment, BLOCK HER AND RUN.
Your Focus: Hyper-Local Initiatives
Rats may find success by focusing on local initiatives that have a direct impact on their community. Volunteer your time and resources to local organizations and campaigns, and encourage your children to get involved as well.
(born in 2021, 2009, 1997, 1985, 1973, 1961)
Ignite Understanding Leaders:
This spring, Oxen should focus on building strong relationships with their children. Spend quality time with your kids, and listen to their concerns and ideas.
(Helpful: Children’s Rights: A Family Action Toolkit)
Your Skills: Long-Term Initiatives
Oxen can make a big impact by identifying & supporting the less sexy long-term initiatives organized by marginalized groups. Use your strength and determination to stand up for what is right.
The cabbage looks good in the grocery store, but you don’t know how to cook cabbage! Stop buying future fantasy of healthy family dinners that future you can’t cash in. Plus, it’s going to smell horrible when you find it in the back of the crisper in August.
Your Focus: Labor Rights
Oxen may find success by getting involved in larger, national initiatives such as labor rights. Look for opportunities to connect with other activists and make your voice heard.
(born in 2022, 2010, 1998, 1986, 1974, 1962)
Raise Artistic Leaders
This spring, Tigers should focus on encouraging creativity and self-expression in their children. Allow your kids to explore their interests and communicate in their own way.
(Helpful: 25+ Social Justice Art Activities for Kids)
Your Skills: Passion & Inspiration
Tigers can make a big impact by using their passion and energy to inspire others. Leave space in your schedule to join last-minute high-energy protests and rallies, and use your artistic creativity to spread your message.
Over-committing to more than one committee meeting and book club each week, which sound fun (and are fun!) but there’s just so much homework and dread while you struggle to jam more events into your calendar. Tell Amy to stuff her performative anti-racist book club, you’ve got naps to take.
Tigers may find success by focusing on initiatives that promote creativity and self-expression in their community. Organize art and music events, or get involved with local theater groups.
Is your horoscope accurate, or complete nonsense?
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