What's in store for you this autumn?

Year of The Rabbit: Autumn Edition

Published: Last Updated on
Horoscope
What's the Rabbit year got in store for you?

Your Autumn Horoscope

Here's what each Chinese Zodiac sign can expect this autumn in terms of your parenting, activism, community relationships, and initiatives:

100% bullshit semi-randomly generated by ChatGPT.

(And spiced up a little by Ashia.)

How could you make an impact this year?

Determine where to focus your energy based on your Chinese zodiac sign (or whichever seems most fun.)

Don't take it too seriously, this is all entirely made-up.

Rabbit

1963, 1975, 1987, 1999, 2011, 2023

Dragon

1964, 1976, 1988, 2000, 2012, 2024

Snake

1965, 1977, 1989, 2001, 2013, 2025

Horse

1966, 1978, 1990, 2002, 2014, 2026

Goat/Sheep

1967, 1979, 1991, 2003, 2015, 2027

Monkey

1968, 1980, 1992, 2004, 2016, 2028

Rooster/Hen

1969, 1981, 1993, 2005, 2017, 2029

Dog

1970, 1982, 1994, 2006, 2018, 2030

Pig

1971, 1983, 1995, 2007, 2019, 2031

Rat

1972, 1984, 1996, 2008, 2020, 2032

Ox

1973, 1985, 1997, 2009, 2021, 2033

Tiger

1974, 1986, 1998, 2010, 2022, 2034

rabbit zodiac

RABBIT

(born in 2023, 2011, 1999, 1987, 1975, 1963)

As the weather cools and the days grow shorter, Rabbits may feel a shift in personality. You may become more introspective and reflective, but also more focused and determined in your pursuit to binge-watch every season of Parks & Rec for the 6th time. Use this time to set clear goals for your activism and community involvement, and make a plan to achieve world domination, Leslie Knope style.

Ignite Independent Leaders

Autumn is a time for Rabbit parents to focus on fostering independence in their children. Encourage your kids to take on new responsibilities and make their own decisions. This will not only help them develop important life skills but also prepare them to lead the human revolt against our robot overlords in 2044.

Helpful: Stories for the next generation of kind & courageous leaders

Your focus: Hearts & Brains

Use your natural empathy and sensitivity to help promote positive change in your community. Focus on issues related to social justice and equality, particularly in education and healthcare. This is a great time to collaborate with whoever is in charge of downloading the internet directly into our brains so we don’t have to wear reading glasses anymore.

Your skills: Inclusion & Breaking Bread

Get involved in local opportunities to spread cultural awareness through food-sharing. Consider organizing a community event that promotes diversity and inclusion, such as a cultural food truck festival or community potluck. Your warmth and kindness will be a valuable asset in bringing people together over a shared love of chili crisp.

Avoid:

Neon-colored cocktails on Tuesdays. Unless you’ve been meaning to try a 48-hour elimination diet. Not the common elimination diet. The other kind. 

Pooping. It’s the pooping kind. You’ll shit your brains out.

dragon zodiac

DRAGON

(born in 2024, 2012, 2000, 1988, 1976, 1964)

Overall, Dragons can expect an Autumn full of growth, learning, and positive change. Keep your eyes and heart open to new experiences, and you’ll make the most of everything autumn has to offer.

And by ‘everything,’ I specifically mean apple cider doughnuts.

Igniting Needy Leaders

Autumn brings exciting opportunities for Dragons in all aspects of their lives. Your parenting skills are especially important this season, as your children may need your guidance in navigating new challenges. Be understanding as you work with them them through a regression that has you seriously questioning whether they’ve recently been replaced with a fairy changeling hell-bent on trying your freaking patience.

Helpful: Kids Stories on Conflict Resolution: Playdates, Boundaries & Dealing With Jerks

Your focus: Charming The Pants Off Everybody

Dragons should focus on community-building initiatives that promote cooperation and inclusivity. Whether it’s organizing a neighborhood Squid Game picnic or participating in local politics, your charisma and leadership skills will become a valuable asset further down the road when it’s your turn to smooth-talk everybody into signing up for a meal train slot to support Paul, the neighborhood asshole.

But I mean – Paul broke his ankle playing golf. Does he really need a meal train? Maybe call in favors for someone who actually deserves your help! Whatever, I support your decisions. I guess.

Your skills: Aquiring New Skills

Autumn also brings opportunities for personal growth and learning for Dragons. Consider taking up a new hobby or pursuing a course of study that interests you, such as Fermentation Bowling. This can help keep your mind sharp, your spirits high, and your gut healthy during the colder months.

Avoid:

Paul.

snake zodiac

SNAKE

(born in 2025, 2013, 2001, 1989, 1977, 1965)

In the autumn, snakes tend to be more introspective and focused on personal growth. Use this time to reflect on your goals and values. Think about how you can best align your activism, busy schedule, and secret life of crime.

Ignite Curious Leaders

Autumn is a great time to encourage your children to take on new challenges and explore their interests. Be sure to provide a supportive environment for them. To do so, set out dry grasses, twigs, hair, and moss in wire-mesh suet cages so they can build a proper nest for winter.

No wait, that’s for birds, not children. Whatever. Couldn’t hurt?

Helpful: How to support native birds in your local area

Your Focus: Informing The Public

Consider starting a community education program that informs others about the issues important to you.

This could involve hosting workshops, events, or conferences that teach people about topics such as social justice, environmentalism, or adopting Danny DeVito Day as a bank holiday.

Your skills:

This autumn, your focus should be on building bridges and forming alliances with partner groups that share your values. Look for opportunities to collaborate on projects and events that can amplify your collective voices (at least 50-100 yards from the property line of that neighbor who is still angry at you*.)

Your community involvement may take a backseat to other priorities this season, but don’t neglect it entirely. Look for small ways to give back and stay engaged with the issues* that matter most to you.

(*Depending on what the specific language and limitations of the resulting restraining order from the Summer astroturf debacle.)

horse zodiac

HORSE

 (born in 2026, 2014, 2002, 1990, 1978, 1966)

Autumn is a time for you to harness your natural leadership abilities and make a positive impact on your community.

You may find yourself drawn to issues of racial justice or equality for marginalized groups, and there are many ways you can get involved. Remember to listen to and learn from those directly affected by these issues, and be willing to have difficult conversations in order to effect real change. Your willingness to take bold action and lead by example can inspire others to do the same.

Ignite Self-Directed Leaders

As a Horse parent, you are naturally protective of your children and want to keep them safe. However, this autumn, it’s important to encourage your children to take risks and try new things. This will help them build confidence and independence. Support your children as they explore their interests, even if those interests are creep you out a little bit, like worm taxidermy or sitting in a dark room staring at the wall, alone, for hours.

Helpful: Kids Books for Weirdos

Your Focus: Listening To Jerks

You are passionate about social justice issues and are not afraid to speak up when you see injustice. This autumn, focus on building coalitions and working collaboratively with others to make change. Listen to the perspectives of those who have different experiences from your own, and be open to learning, growing, and calling bullshit when you’ve had enough.

Your skills: Getting To Know People

This autumn, consider getting involved in a community organization that is working to promote equity and justice, but don’t jump into volunteering too fast. Take the time to build relationships with other activists and community members who share your values. Collaboration and connection will be key to making a positive impact, in addition to finding someone willing to co-sign on a loan for a 1985 Weinermobile.

Work on building relationships and solidarity with other communities of color, and collaborate on advocacy and activism work to fight against systemic racism and discrimination. Consider organizing a community event or workshop that focuses on racial justice education through puppetry and anti-racism values.

Avoid: Picking your nose in public even when you think you’re alone (secret cameras.)

goat zodiac

GOAT / SHEEP

(born in 2027, 2015, 2003, 1991, 1979, 1967)

As the leaves begin to change, you may find yourself drawn to new social causes and activism opportunities. Use this season to explore and engage with issues that you feel passionate about. Your natural empathy and compassion will be especially valuable in creating meaningful change in your community.

Ignite Punctual Leaders:

As a parent, you may be feeling the urge to provide a stable and structured environment for your children as they transition back into the school year. Embrace this urge by setting clear expectations and routines that allow your children to thrive, along with a detailed 50-year-plan to capture carbon using IKEA hacks.

Helpful: Destigmatizing Emotional & Mental Health for Asian & Pacific Islander Kids

Your Focus: Mental Health (still)

Remember to take care of yourself as you take on new challenges this season. Prioritize self-care practices like meditation, exercise, and spending time in nature to keep your mind and body in balance. Trust in your inner strength and resilience as you navigate the changing landscape of the autumn season so you stop tipping over so often.

Your skills: Talking To Strangers

In your community, consider getting involved in efforts to support marginalized groups and promote equity and justice. This could mean volunteering with local organizations or using your voice and platform to raise awareness about important issues.

Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and engage with people who have different perspectives than your own, including people standing on ladders, and lying on the floor.

Avoid:

Scrapbooking. Sure, it’s a great creative outlet, but you’ve taken it a little too far at this point. I’ve spoken with your family and… we think you might have a problem.

monkey zodiac

MONKEY

(born in 2028, 2016, 2004, 1992, 1980, 1968)

This autumn can be a time of personal growth and meaningful engagement with the causes you care about. Don’t be afraid to take risks and try new things – this is a great time to step out of your comfort zone and embrace new opportunities. Also, new hair-dos! Makeover montage!!

Ignite Critical Leaders:

Your parenting style may shift this season, with a greater emphasis on encouraging your children to think critically and engage with the world around them. Encourage them to ask questions, challenge assumptions, and explore new ideas. Be open to learning from your children as well – they may have insights and perspectives that surprise you. But for the most part, most of their revelations are pretty obvious. Try not too roll your eyes too often – they’re new to to being people.

Helpful: Children’s Rights & Anti-Childism Family Action Toolkit

Your Focus: Getting Your Shit Together

As the season changes, Monkey individuals may find themselves feeling more introspective and reflective, but also a little itchy. This can be a great time to focus on personal growth, development, and delousing.

Take the time to examine your own beliefs and values, and consider how you can better align them with your activism efforts. Don’t be afraid to challenge your own assumptions about bugs as a sustainable source of protein.

Your skills: Education Access Awareness

 Monkey individuals may find themselves drawn to causes that involve education and awareness-raising. This can include initiatives focused on promoting social justice and equality, as well as those aimed at improving access to education for underserved communities. You may find that you have a particular talent for communicating complex ideas in a way that is accessible to others through hooting and scent-marking, so don’t be afraid to use this skill to advance the causes you care about.

Avoid:

Mortgage lending scams.

rooster zodiac

ROOSTER / HEN

(born in 2029, 2017, 2005, 1993, 1981, 1969)

Known as the wildcard of the animal zodiac, Roosters can often surprise those around them with their unconventional ideas, dance moves, and… ways of doing things. This autumn, Roosters should embrace their unpredictable nature and channel it into something positive for their community.

Ignite Communicative Leaders

Roosters should focus on building strong, honest relationships with their children. Encourage your children to speak their minds and express themselves freely. Be open to new ideas and ways of thinking, and use your creative energy to find new ways to connect with your children, such as through interpretive dance and whisper-shouting.

Helpful: Changemaking Through Art

Your Focus: Youth Education Rights

Roosters tend to be very detail-oriented and analytical, which can serve you well when it comes to researching and advocating about education-related issues.

Your natural sense of responsibility and commitment to making a positive impact may also inspire you to take action on behalf of children and families in their community. Just don’t take it too far and get pulled in as a sucker – those kids will try to trick you into robbing an ice cream truck for all the wrong reasons.

Your skills: Leading Newly Formed Communities

Roosters should consider taking on a leadership role in a new community initiative. Your confidence and charisma make you a natural fit for rallying others around a cause you believe in. Use your unique perspective and innovative thinking to find new solutions to old problems, creating potential breakthroughs in the soggy toast epidemic.

Avoid:

Your unconventional thinking and leadership skills can be a powerful force for change, but remember to keep at least two items of clothes on in public, otherwise your photo is gonna show up on the ‘DO NOT SERVE’ bulletin board at Dunkin Donuts again.

dog zodiac

DOG

 (born in 2030, 2018, 2006, 1994, 1982, 1970)

Overall, this autumn is a time for reflection and evaluation of the relationships in your life. Don’t be afraid to make difficult decisions for your own well-being, and use your voice and influence to make a positive impact in your community.

Ignite Self-Affirming Leaders

As a Dog, you have a natural instinct to protect and care for those around you, but you may also have a tendency to put others’ needs before your own. This autumn, it’s important to remember that self-care is crucial for your own well-being and for your ability to be an effective caregiver to your children.

Model very loud, boisterous self-care affirmations in the mirror each day, in the hopes that your children will pick up the habit.

Helpful: Celebrating Self-Identity Toolkit for Kids

Your Focus: Supporting Survivors

In terms of community involvement and activism, you may want to focus on promoting healthy relationships and advocating for the rights of those who may be trapped in toxic situations. Domestic violence and abuse are unfortunately all too common, and your voice and influence can make a real difference in helping to raise awareness, promote change, and sabotage an abusers vehicle long enough to make a clean getaway.

Your skills: Steadfast Loyalty

As the autumn season sets in, your focus on relationships and community will be even stronger than before. However, this time around, you may find yourself reflecting on the quality of your relationships, and whether they are truly healthy and fulfilling for you. As a Dog, you have a tendency to stay loyal to those around you, even though your cousin dumped your car in a lake and set it on fire.

Avoid:

Parent-teacher associations, community centers, or after-school programs. At least until you’ve gotten your Spontaneous Slapping Disease back under control.

pig zodiac

PIG

(born in 2019, 2007, 1995, 1983, 1971)

This autumn, embrace your individuality and let yourself shine. Remember that you have valuable contributions to make and don’t be afraid to take credit for single-handedly saving that family of six from a four-alarm house fire. Use your loyalty and collaborative spirit to make a positive impact in your community and inspire those around you.

Ignite Experimental Leaders:

As a parent, it’s important to encourage your children to take risks and do genuinely foolish things. Support them as they step out of their comfort zone, pursue their passions, and embarrass the shit out of themselves.

However, don’t forget to take care of yourself and prioritize your own needs as well. Set aside time for self-care and reflection to recharge your batteries and test your fire alarms.

Helpful: Daring Greatly & Failing Spectacularly: A Resilience Toolkit for Activist Kids

Your Focus: Mental Health Advocacy

This season may be a good time for you to focus on advocating for mental health resources and support for children, families, and the smarter mammals. This could include working to destigmatize mental health issues, supporting access to affordable elephant therapy and counseling services for dolphins, as well as promoting culturally responsive self-care practices that prioritize mental and emotional well-being while growing our winter coats.

Your skills: Take Credit For Once

As a Pig, you have a natural inclination to be a loyal and supportive sidekick. While this is an admirable trait, it’s important to remember to take credit for your own accomplishments and let your light shine. This autumn, it’s time to step out of the shadows and take center stage. Both metaphorically, and literally, as you’re unexpectedly cast as the co-lead in your community theater’s rendition of Lady and the Tramp, opposite Manny Jacinto (you play the Tramp).

Avoid:

It’s time to stop setting four-alarm fires. Someone’s gonna find out!

rat zodiac

RAT

(born in 2020. 2008, 1996, 1984, 1972, 1960)

Despite past negative connotations associated with the Rat, there are people who appreciate your wit, intelligence, and ability to adapt to any situation. This autumn, embrace who you are and don’t be afraid to shine. Your positive presence spreads to those around you, kind of like…hmm. Well, like a plague. Of good feelings.

Ignite Open-Minded Leaders:

This is a time to encourage your children to embrace their own unique qualities and interests. Help them to build their self-confidence and self-esteem, and support them in pursuing their dreams, even when you know their dreams are super-unrealistic. Don’t be afraid to take risks and try new things together as a family, like bananas with tomato sauce.

Helpful: Daring Greatly & Failing Spectacularly: A Resilience Toolkit for Activist Kids

Your Focus: Self-Advocacy As An Old

This is a great time for you to speak out on behalf of older adults who are often overlooked or dismissed. Your ability to see through the noise and get to the heart of the matter will be invaluable in effecting change. Consider joining a campaign against anti-elder ageism, and don’t be afraid to take a leadership role since your kids keep insisting you’re like, 100 years old.

Your skills: Self-Development

For rats in autumn, it’s a good time to focus on building stronger relationships within your community. Rats should try to get involved in local senior organizations or anti-ageism volunteer groups.

Rats can use your natural charm and wit to engage others and make a positive impact. It’s also a good time for rats to reflect on your own personal growth and take steps to continue developing your skills,  knowledge, and a secure winter nest. Consider taking a class or attending workshops to expand your horizons and learn how to echolocate.

Avoid:

It’s time to end your habit of eating messy foods like lobster and tacos in bed, while standing up, and in the tub. Instead, save money and switch to cheaper, neater foods, like banana and tomato sauce smoothies.

ox zodiac

OX

(born in 2021, 2009, 1997, 1985, 1973, 1961)

Autumn brings a sense of completion and accomplishment for the Ox. You’ve worked hard all year, and now it’s time to wrap up your projects and let them go. It’s important to recognize that while you may be tempted to keep pushing yourself to finish every last detail, it’s okay to let go and trust that you’ve done your best as the Official Chumbawamba Fan Club Founder And Also Last Surviving Club Member. It’s time to move on.

Ignite Leaders:

Oxen are known for being strong, dependable, and hard-working parents. However, in autumn, you should focus on creating a healthy work-life balance for yourself and your families.

Make time to engage in activities that bring joy to you and your children, such as outdoor activities and introducing all of the secret families you’ve been harboring around the tri-state area in a big, explosive reality TV mini-series airing on Lifetime this December, Thursdays at 7pm Eastern / 5pm Central.

Helpful: Kids Stories On Transitions: Growing Up, Coming Out, and Accepting Change

Your Focus: Support For Families In Need

Oxen can use their diligence and hard-working nature to contribute to causes that support the betterment of their communities. Focus on initiatives that improve access to healthcare, education, and affordable housing for all families, regardless of their socioeconomic status.

You can also consider supporting initiatives that promote diversity and inclusion in schools and other community spaces. By taking action on these important issues, oxen can set a positive example for your many, many children and contribute to building a more equitable society while simultaneously juggling several lawsuits, four divorce proceedings, and two counts of impersonating a dentist.

Your skills: Creating New Partnerships

In terms of activism and community relationships, the Ox should focus on collaborations and partnerships this autumn. You tend to be a bit of a lone wolf, but working with others can be beneficial for everyone involved. Seek out groups or organizations that share your values and work together with new colleagues to be transparent about your existing commitments, workload, and marriage status.

It’s also important for the Ox to prioritize self-care this autumn. You tend to overwork and neglect your own needs while caring for your many secret families. But it’s important to take time to rest and recharge. Consider taking up a new hobby or spending time in nature to unwind and rejuvenate.

Avoid:

You thought he was organizing a Chumbawumba Fan Reunion, but it was DAVE behind the shocking bait & switch multiple-family-reveal miniseries special. Don’t say I didn’t warn you about him.

tiger zodiac

TIGER

(born in 2022, 2010, 1998, 1986, 1974, 1962)

Tigers ‘aren’t like the other animals’ – and just as everyone else is feeling run down by Seasonal Affective Disorder, you are likely to feel energized and ready to take on new challenges. Waaponize your energy to boost issues that aren’t getting much media attention lately. Use your natural charisma and confidence to organize a coo against existing leadership and command your new flight with vim and glory.

Ignite Self-Sufficient Leaders:

Tigers should focus on fostering independence and self-sufficiency in their children. Encourage them to take on new challenges and responsibilities, while also providing a supportive and loving environment. Don’t be afraid to let go of control and trust in your children’s abilities to track, hunt, and rip out out the jugular of an injured canteloupe who strayed too far from the pack. And then clear their table and wash up after themselves.

Helpful: Raising Sons Who Value Care Work

Your Focus: Education Access

In autumn, tigers can focus on social justice issues related to education, especially for underprivileged communities.

This could involve advocating for equal access to education, supporting programs that provide tutoring or mentorship to low-income students, or working to improve the quality of education in disadvantaged areas. Tigers have a natural talent for leadership and can use their influence to rally support and bring attention to these issues.

You may also consider supporting organizations that promote education equity and access, or volunteering as a tutor or mentor themselves in a topic you know absolutely nothing about but could convincingly fake expertise in.

Your skills:

Focus on building connections with individuals, groups, individual groups, organizational individuals, group organizations, and organizational group individuals. Networking can help you discover new opportunities for making a positive impact in your community.

This season, Tigers should also prioritize self-care and taking breaks when needed. It’s important to balance your desire to work hard and infiltrate enemy organizations with taking time to recharge and nurture yourself.

Avoid:

Getting too wrapped up in your Oxen friend’s family situation. Lend a listening ear, but set strong boundaries to protect your energy. You do NOT need that let that drama seep in your life.

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1 comment

Shannon September 16, 2023 - 11:37 AM
0

This reminds me of the Weird Al horoscope song! (Which, non-coincidentally, my children are listening to right this second.) Under that reasoning, I was able to sneak in some semi-serious advice to them before they went back to listening to Weird Al.

Reply

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